10 core points to check with you and your client

Acceptance and Committment: 10 core points to check with you and your client

1.- Your problem could not be your discomfort. The true problem could be the solutions that you, mistakenly, have been keeping trying.

2.- Evaluate the true problem: What activities are you putting off in order to feel yourself “a bit better”?: What places are you avoiding? What people are you avoiding to talk to? What responsabilities are you postponing?

3.- Identify the solutions you have tried in order to avoid your problem: What kind of substances –legal or illegal, scientific or “healer” stuff- have you resorted to? What “techniques” or ritual did you undergo in order to avoid your discomfort? What kind of strategy have you chosen to avoid your meeting with your suffering? What shape have your tendency to avoid or postpone taken? (if you don´t want it, you´ll get it)

4.- What has been the outcome of all yours efforts (in the short and long term) of getting rid of the discomfort?

5.- Sufferance and feelings of helplessness apart, what goals would you like to achieve? What specific behavior would you like to perform? What kind of activities would you like to practise? Where would you like to go?... And What do you feel like when you realize that you have given up all these things? (presence/absence pain).

6.- Look at your limitations as keys to open every door towards your valuable and meaningful things in your life: What important subject, what vital objective would you reach if you accepted taking your discomfort with you, your negative thoughts and feelings and, in spite of them, performing all the behaviors you woul need to perform in order to achive your vital goals? (if you are doing good, you will feel bad).

7.- Who would you like to be, essentially? What kind of values would you chose as a vital point of reference? What personal qualities would you like to develop as a personal way of being?

8.- Every thing in its place: words are not the reality, the contents of your mind are not the truth of your life; the reality of the current moment are not the memories of the past times nor the advance of future disasters. Focus on your life, not on your mind.

9.- The key: to ACT in spite of the tendency to do not act, to get involved in your life in spite of the discomfort for acting.

10.- The first steps to do (taking in your arms all your fears, uncertainty, shame, sadness...?: Set up your minimum first goals, your minimum committments; count on with the barriers, remember your reached goals, set up your models, clarify your reasons, your values, affirm every little step, be patient with your mistakes, try it again and again, be happy with your sorrow (it is your key for the important things), accept your challenges, realize the new better person you are achieving with yourself, live your life and do not miss a minute, a feeling of it.

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