Out of Control Behaviors: Combative Relationships, Extreme Anger


"What the **** is wrong with you?" Sandi yells. "You are mentally ******* ill. Shut the **** up."

This is an excerpt from a show Dr Phil did (show link here) called "At War With My Teen". The show highlights the extremely combative and destructive relationship between an out-of-control teen and his parents. But the mom, Sandi, is the really interesting one to watch, especially in the clip where that quote above shows up.

"You are nothing. You're a pig. A dirty scum pig is what you are ... It's time for you to leave my house." At a different time, Sandi yells at the top of her lungs, "Stop! Shut up!"

The relationship between Sandi and her son, Mark, is extremely volatile, an at times painful to watch. They both are extremely distressed, and both can cite valid sounding reasons for their behavior. What's worth noting, however, is that no one would ever want to be the recipient of such vitriol and hate. These are some of the classic borderline traits which essentially translate into "I hate you. Why are you going away?"

Dialectical Behavior Treatment (DBT) is the most widely researched and validated treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). DBT provides a high level of accountability through a strict treatment regimen, frequent group attendance and the availability of a therapist, by phone, outside of office hours. Clients enrolled in a DBT program are required to disclose when they do have lapses of self-harming behaviors and they are required to recommit to the group in order to better manage the ongoing urges for self-harming behavior that are so ingrained in the mindset of the BPD. I take the best aspects of DBT, accountability, structure, frequent treatment contact, and combine these with the benefits of social media, texting, recorded scripts and email and smartphone apps. If you've recently been hospitalized due to self-harming behaviors, and you are willing to set up a level of support to help manage your self-harming urges, then my outpatient program may be right for you.

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My name is Dave Ebaugh, and I've been helping individuals with complex diagnosis and personality disorders for over 20 years. Give me a call or scroll down to fill out the contact form below. I can answer your questions or set up a free consultation in my office. Let's talk to see if I can help you.

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